Viet Nam - Hoi An

What's that you say? You've never heard of Hoi An. Well dear reader, please allow me to indulge you.....

Hoi An is Vietnamese for "Shopping with Wreckless Abandon". Actually, that's probably not what it means but ask anyone who's been there and they'll tell you, it'll do.

The Village (sadly, no longer Williage) is a sleepy little port city along the Thu Bon (Or as I liked to call it, the "Jon Bon") river, just a few clicks away from the Ocean. We intended to stay just a day or two in Hoi An but due to the truly enjoyable atmoshere, almost spent a week.


People just like us travel to Hoi An to experience the ambience of old narrow streets and seaside life, then become stupid with clothes shopping.
"Stupid like a Fox!" (H. J. Simpson, 1993)
This stupidity could be brought on by the relative low cost of local apparel, the 3,000 Dong Beers ($0.19), or maybe it has something to do with the 200+ tailor shoppes and custom footware manufacturers scattered throughout the town? Seriously, everyone and their brother knows "the best tailor in town"*.
*Note - Most tailors are "the Best" if "the Best" includes 3 or more fittings and multiple explainations about what you'd like because they thought when you said "make this tapered" they thought you said "make me look like a heifer". - Ow, I just sounded snobby there, sorry. Can you tell someones' done too much shopping?

Hoi An proved to be a monumental step in our married life as I learned to appreciate Ingrid's seemingly endless endurance. Despite 4 consecutive days of shopping, she managed to summon the strength from deep inside to continue into day five while I hit the wall. - Actually, I hit the wall in day one. By day five I resorted to pleading for mercy and "a quick death".



"She is not a Man. She is a piece of Iron!" (Ivan Drago, Rocky IV - 1985)

I walkled out of Hoi An unscathed (though the mental wounds will last a lifetime - I now twitch when I see rolls of fabric) without a single purchase. Sadly, the same can't be said for my dear wife. Within hours of arriving, she was done for.
While we got off relatively easy, I nominate the phrase "I don't even need a suit, and I just ordered two" as the new town logo for 2007.
On a side note, there is nothing more ironic than the droves of 18 - 22 year old backpackers leaving Hoi An with all their earthly possessions in a 35 liter backpack, having not showered for 3-17 days, and carrying garment bags (Cocooned inside, their very first suit. A nice Slim-fit brown three piece with lavender pin stripes and peaked lappels - Thank you Mom, Dad, Laura and Dirk for not allowing me to share a similar fate).

Again, Like Ha Noi, French influence and "Nooks and Crannies" abound.

But perhaps the best part of Hoi An was the ability to rent us some motorbikes and hit the road.
Ingrid took to Mopeds like the locals take to bowls of rice, Fast and Furious!

We drove 2 hours out of town to visit a remote Chan Temple. Upon arrival, we looked at 20 photos on a Canadian couples digital camera, turned around, and headed back to the road.

We took the next 5+ hours to get home by wandering through some backwater villages,

Helping the locals dry their washing,

Assisting the Rice Crop,

And running into unexpected obstacles.

The impromptu bike tour has turned into a highlight of the entire trip and we look forward to continuing this new adventure method in other locales.

Kui kellelgi on kunagi soov Viet Nami kylastada, siis Hoi An oleks minu poolt soovitavate paikade esireas. Kena vaike linnake, kus void oobida kas mere voi joe aares, ja need on yksteisest vaid 2-3 km kaugusel.

Hoi An on ka tuntud roivaste ja jalatsite valmistamise poolest, kust peaaegu et keegi ei paase ilma,et oleks lasknud endale valmistada pluusi, pyksid, kleidi, ylikonna voi mingi jalatsi.


Hoi An laheb minu elu ajalukku ka selle poolest, et siin istusin ma esimest korda oma elus Mootor ratta rooli taha.

Oma soidu oskusi harjutasin aga siiski linnast valjas, kus me kylast kylla kimasime ja kohalike eluga tutvusime.

Kes aga Inxi teab, siis vois ju arvata, et ma pidin ka isiklikult jargi uurima ja proovima kuidas see riisi istutamise vark kaib.

Jumal tanatud et mul oiget varvi ylikond seljas oli, muidu ehk ei oleksi lubatud riisi istutada.