Malaysia - We're both stumped for cleaverer names here

Right, so, we left Southern Thailand (apparently there are some separatist activities taking place there said the military checkpoints) and traveled overland to the Northeast corner of Malaysia and a little slice of heaven known as the Perhentian Islands. (Or so the Malay would have you believe....*)

This would be home to the famed "attack coconuts" who's shooting star status was achieved through early work performed on this very same website!

* Not a lot to do on these Islands except (A) Chase the 2M long Monitor Lizards (B) Get chased by the 2M long Monitor Lizards (C) Live in constant fear of the 2M long Monitor Lizards. Course NO ONE tells you about the monitor lizards until you arrive - then they're like "Surprize! you'll be sharing a room with the cast of Jurassic Park."

These things are incredibly fast considering their body-to-leg length ratio. It's like an armoured Daschund with fangs coming at you at 100 miles-per-hour. It'll get the fair to stand on the back of your neck.

We spent a few nights on these islands and saved a little cash by tenting on the beach. Good times, but please ask us about tenting in the active construction zone when we return - it's a hoot.

From the Perhentians, we traversed peninsular Malaysia to arrive at the island of Penang - The once home of the mighty East India Trading Company (Yeah Pirates of the Carribean bad guys; Carribean, Southeast Asia, they're practically neighbors. Besides, EIT was a Global Company. - I digress)

Penang (home to Penang Curry - yeah dat's right) is a culinary delight. Thanks to the street hawkers you can enjoy food from across the globe (or at least across Asia) from the comfort of your front stoop (For those tuning in from Europe - a "stoop" as Adam calls it is the front steps and/or step of a home, often used by American's for staring at the neighbors or general lounging about).

The other major activity in Penang is wandering around and looking at what once was. Unlike other previously Western enclaves that became shining stars of Asia (Hong Kong, Singapore, Macau, etc.) Penang was absorbed back into the Asian world where is acquired modern facilities such as open sewers, negligent trash collection, and Splinteresk rats.** In Short, it's a profanity-hole. Oo-Oo, imagine London in a post-apocolypic world where green octopus-like aliens have unleashed Nuclear devices on mankind and the last remaining humans survive in the remnants of the London Underground where they hatch plans to repopulate the planet and expunge the alien threat. Now remove the London Underground and the hatching of plans and you've got it (the growth in the open sewers justifys keeping the aliens)

One things I'll give to the people of Penang is that they sure know how to throw a party. Ingrid and I came across a barricaded street where hundreds of people were congregating while preparing to jump into this feast!

And they called in an Entire Truck full of flowers to decorate

And then we noticed the Ghostbuster Limo and realized it was a Funeral. Correction - one things I'll give to the people of Penang is that they sure know how to throw a funeral. When I go out, I want 6 roast pigs, 20 Kegs of Microbrew (I added that touch) and a truck full of flowers to go with me!

To attone for photographing a funeral (if you look closely at the Pig photo you'll notice I stood alone in the center of the street while EVERYONE looked at me and I still didn't realize what was happening) I let this guy loose on my dome and he freed me from my keratin burdon.


We rented a motorbike for like the 27th time and cruised around the less than arrow-straight roads.

We visited a tropical fruit farm and learned the origins of most of the flavors of freezy pops. In case you were wondering, the people of Malaysia have created a Decorative Pineapple that holds no nutritional value but sure looks nice.

That's it.

They also offer a drink straight out of Harry Potter.


Leaving the island of Penang behind, we headed inland to the Cameroon Highlands, a distant outpost of the Former British Empire. What interest would the Union Jack have with the interior of Malaysia you might ask? Cause that's where their Bloody Tea comes from I would answer.

That, my friends, is a tea plantation. Quite possibly the prettiest form of agriculture on the face of the earth. Now we're all entitled to our personal opinions, and it's okay for yours to be wrong, but tea plantations are nicer than cornfields, vineyards, and strawberry fields, forever.


Besides, you can also act all hoity-toity and pretend you can identify the "colours" and "intricacies" of the tea - Just like the British!

The Cameroon Highlands are also noted for their Biodiversty. Located amongst the oldest rainforest in the World (don't worry Americans, the Malaysians are quickly destroying their rainforest in the name of Palm Oil production so we'll be able to reclaim the title soon - assuming we have a rainforest - and that if we do we should, by all accounts, deserve the oldest in the world ([quietly chanting]USA, USA, USA))
Anyway, back to the Biodiversity. CH has a stupid amount of butterfiles and the largest Moth in the World!
Hello Clarice!!!

There's also what I like to call the Tricere beatle. (Jack, tell Mommy you want a "longicorn - Chlorophorus annularis Fabricius" for your next Birthday)

Geckos - But these ones Don't try to sell you Car Insurance the way the ones in the States ALWAYS do.

And Leaf Bugs. That's a bug there. No, Really. I'm serious. A bug. Don't Believe me? Learn Estonian and read Ingrid's post for proof cause you ALWAYS believe her, don't you?


From the Highlands we returned to the Lowlands and more specifically, Kuala Lumpur.

Yeah Petronas Towers! For me, and my engineering geek self, getting prepared to see the two tallest towers in the world (Taipei 101 doesn't count cause I haven't seen it yet - Picked up this technique from an ostrich in Africa and it works wonders!) was like getting to see the Taj Mahal. I was really excited the night before and looking at them from all over town never lost its novelty.

On the outskirts of town we visited the Batu Caves where devote Hindu's congregate annually for The Thaipusam festival. That's the celebration for the son of Shiva (Subramaniam) and the becoming "one" of Pusan and the Brihaspati stars - Duh!

Every year, on Thaipusam, as many as 800,000 devotees and other visitors may throng the caves. As a form of penance or sacrifice, many of them carry kavadis (literally, "burden"). These are large, brightly decorated frameworks, usually combined with various metal hooks and skewers which are used to pierce the skin, cheeks and tongue that they carry up the 272 steps to the temple.

Just in case you missed that...

(Photo not taken by Adam - Like I'd Mooch someone else's photo)
By doing this penance they expect some favours from their Gods. That's right, they essentially blackmail their Gods! Hey, Shiva, how bout a little good fortune this year? Do I have to remind you that I stuck a fish hook through my cheak for you last March? Do I? And Ganesh, those weren't earrings baby, how's about a few more customers?

And Yeah, 272 steps, That's a great idea. What's with people putting temples at the tops of staircases? Gods can fly, you can't. At ground level, they can fly down to visit, no need to climb all those stairs man. You're better than that.

We also had the distinct pleasure of visiting the Sepang International F1 Circuit in Kuala Lumpur during preparation for the April 8th F1 race! That's Kimi Raïkkönen "The Flying Finn" piloting Schumacher's old Ferarri!

Jack, if Mommy won't let you have the longicorn - Chlorophorus annularis Fabricius, tell her you want a Ferarri. You'll have Daddies support on that one.


** Splinter - the human sized Biped rat sen-sei from The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. 2-points to anyone who didn't need the footnote for that.