On the Road

This post is dedicated to the sometimes frightening, often humourous and always interesting things we've seen on the road in India. Driving in India is an experience unto itself. While leaving Delhi for the major highways, I couldn't stop thinking "When's this road going to get better?". Two weeks have past and they never improved. The roads are "roads for the new century", unfortunatly that was the previous "new century" they were talking about. If you want to retrace the footsteps of Ghandi, don't worry, the same roads are still here. I was flabberghasted to find that the roads connecting Delhi to all major ports were nothing more than single lane afterthoughts of vintage Ingersol-Rand. But I digress.

I'll preface this section by explaining the rules of passenger seating in India. When traveling in India, the number of allowable passengers is governed by a simple equation.

To determine proper passenger allowance, multiple the number of seats in a vehicle (driver seat included) by Pi. Next divide that number by 1.37. Finally, multiple this new number by the number of pieces of Chipatti the driver had for lunch and you're all set*.

*Note: this equation does not hold true in the case of Massey FergusonTractors of which the proper passenger allowance, as you all know, is seven.

Beyond human cargo, a much simpler equation exists for general freight. I believe this photo demonstates the "10lbs in the 5lb bag" equation nicely.Loads aside, lets talk about the vehicles themselves.

As if the above truck isn't intimidating enough, allow me to show you what you must face down when it's time to cross a single lane bridge and "death before dishonor" driving comes into play.

These war-painted demon chariots are piloted by guys like "junior" here beside me. Behind the wheel these nepolian-complexed guys refuse to back down from anything, including each other. If there's an accident here, you can rest assured it's a head-on. Oh, and the god-awful horns! Somewhere in a backroom in India a sadistic little man is grining to himself as he manufactures the horns for these trucks and busses. Ingrid and I affectionately refer to them as the screaming Hindi banshees. It's basically the worst hindi-megastar scream you can imagine played at 110db. It shakes your bones when they hit the horns and they basically honk at trees - and encourage this behavior between one another. The horn is basically the Indian way of saying "Hey, you're here, I'm here too. Let's share the road and both get home safe. Just don't challenge me. Don't ever, ever challenge me."

Taking a look at other vehicles on the road, we come across a long list of options for those in need of transport.

The CLASSIC Autorickshaw.

The Mahindra - That's right, I can't believe it's not chrystler either. Don't worry America, just keep sending your IP over here for confiscation, I mean production.

The Moped, a family vehcile here in India. At just four passengers, this is particularly lightly loaded, especially considering the driver had FOUR chipatti for lunch!

The Nruck - Not quite a truck...

And my personal favorite mode of mechanised transport, the "Home Made" car.

People use a single cylinder water pump motor and Frankestein it together with other drive train components onto a WOODEN chassis. Love it. Note the use of electrical tape on the steering column! - and the seven passengers.

Then there's the Living transport.

Like Elephants (note car review in the photo):

Camel tractors

And monkeys on bicycles.

More coming, Internet running out in 5,4,3,2......